Greenscape

Dean Forrester had the ultimate life. He had money, he had women, he never paid taxes and most of his days were spent playing golf and drinking for free. He was prepared to live out the rest of his days like this - until one phone call from home ruined it all.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Revelations I

So Paige read it handidly in one sitting (which isn't surprising, since she swallows 300 page novels whole and then wipes her palate clean with a volume of poetry). Some of things we agreed are - it's too short, some of the scenes carry more weight w/ prose or narrative than others (comparing Dean v James against Dean v Joy for instance). Some of the more absurdist portions, like Bull's side business, are perhaps a bit to absurdist. Aside from being short, it's also ... light. Shallow.

But it did get a chuckle from her, so I guess parts of the humor work.

I'm going to let this get cold for me, because right now I don't think I can edit it objectively. I think I want to add more of the world Dean left behind (Chummy, Illumni, etc), more color motifs, slower prose in scenes, but right now I just want to let the smoke settle. I'll probably head back to game modding for a while.

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